How to Get Past Many of the Hurdles of Parenting
You may have heard that there are several basic styles of parenting, and this is true. While it can help to study various parenting philosophies, when it comes down to it you have to use your own judgment and see what works best for you. At the same time, you'll probably find that the following points can help clarify certain areas of parenting that many find challenging.
Not all parents realize that there's a subtle but important difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting, and most experts say the former is preferable. The difference between authoritative and authoritarian is that the latter means obeying without asking any questions, the former is firm but flexible and allowing some discussion. The authoritative parent recognizes the need for rules, but balances this out with the willingness to have open dialogues with the child. Children need some limits, or they'll grow up feeling insecure and lacking in self discipline, but they also need to develop their own individual personalities. It's not always easy to find this ideal balance, but part of your job as a parent is looking at where your kids are and figuring this out day by day. Children need to learn that what they do has a consequence, something you need to convey as you are parenting your kids. Consequences for bad behavior typically range around the removal of certain privileges like surfing on the Internet or having to sit in the room. Constant enforcement of the rules that you establish is a necessity so that your kids realize you are serious. The rules that you enforce need to be done every time, and not because you feel like it or if the mood suits you. The whole idea behind discipline is to give the child a sense of structure and the ability to take responsibility for his actions, and this demands that rules be taken seriously.
What's the best way to get your child to stop doing something or to change his or her behavior? One of the most effective ways to handle this is to give the child some choices. This is a way to focus on something positive, rather than on what you want the child to stop doing. For example, your child may be digging around in your freshly planted garden that you worked several days on.
Instead of raising your voice and causing a scene, you can offer them a choice which allows them to choose something not related to the bad situation. By doing this, you now have control of the bad situation, and your child can make a good choice.
No matter how much you read about parenting, of course, you can never prepare for everything that actually comes up. Still, it can help to ponder various issues regarding parenting so you can come up with your own personal outlook. As much as you try to guide and protect your kids, though, they have their own lives to live, and they will ultimately decide the course of their own lives.